Tomorrow I will go to the animal defense league and see if they need any volunteers. After a lecture/pep talk/motivational kick in the ass from my dad, its what I need to do at this point. I e-mailed a dog trainer, whos card I picked up from a kennel I applied at, and she said she might need a helper this summer. I don't exactly know what that will entail...if that means money or not, but I know helping out a trainer is exactly what I need to do as well. So I will be giving her a call tomorrow.

I have also vowed to try and cook. I don't want to go off into the world and not know how to put a meal together for me and joe. I have gathered up some recipes for orange chicken, fried rice and crab rangoons and I will hopefully be trying them out tomorrow. I even got a recipe for some cute little cake pops. I need to take advantage of having my mom's helping hand while I can and while we both have time.

I did some cleaning today. I did the laundry, vaccuumed, threw out some flowers that have been dead for a few days, and replaced my glade plugin. It smells nice and the clutter is down. I'm in a good mood today. I am hopeful for the things to come. Ready for the next step.

I only hope I can keep this momentum going...

I wish I could just ask someone what it is that makes them not hire me. My looks? The time I turn in my application or go to pick one up? What excuse do the people I e-mail have? They don't like my e-mail address?

I may not have any professional experience working with animals, but it is what I am passionate about. I have said this a few times in e-mails and on applications, but it doesn't seem to matter. Everyone wants someone with experience. It's a cruel cycle. I can't get experience because no one will hire me. Therefore, I am stuck.

"Just go apply at McDonalds." I can't. I don't want to be stuck in a job that's not going to be helping me in the career path I have chosen. I'm already a late bloomer, I don't have time to waste somewhere that isn't going to get me the experience I need. Maybe I am being too picky or too stubborn, but I would like to think that that makes a little sense.

Maybe I should just take out a huge loan and go to school. It would be more productive than sitting here trying to find a job. Then, hopefully, with certification someone will want to hire me. I would really love to go now. Well, in the fall anyway. So what's stopping me? The loan I guess. How fast will I be able to pay it back? What happens if I still can't find a job after school?

The future scares me. At the same time, i'm excited about it. I can't wait for us to get our own place and just be. No parents, no rules. Just us. Our own stress or lack of. I'm just scared it's going to take forever to get to the place I want to be. I miss home so much when i'm gone, but being here drives me crazy. I take on the worry that other people should have and family drama gets to me more than it should. I want us to be on our own. I want us to start our life, but money issues are blocking us.

Will we ever get there?

Here is another post. Not much has been going on lately, yet so much has happened. My own personal little world has been the same, nothing new. But family drama always has something going on.

Veronica got a puppy a little while ago. I thought to myself, "oh right who is going to take care of that thing?" Not her. At first she kept it locked up in her room. It peed and pooped and made the hallway smelly. And get this, she never paid any attention to it. She would come home from school and spend her time either on the computer or on the couch watching TV. The dog was doomed, there was no one to love it. Then after about 4 or 5 days of a poopy, stinky room she decided it's time for the puppy to go live outside. Seeing as how my dog lives back there she came up with the brilliant plan to tie the puppy to the outside faucet on the side of the house. Take a moment to soak that in. A puppy...tied up.

This was a tipping point for me, this is where my blood started to boil. A puppy needs a hell of a lot of attention, not to mention it should be introduced properly to other dogs, not simply tied up in their area. So for the sake of that poor puppy I try and bring the subject up to my parents. "It's not right to have that puppy tied up back there like that." They come back with something even less desirable. They let the puppy run free in the backyard.

So a little background on my dog. She doesn't like other dogs. That's why she and chaos are seperated. A few weeks ago chaos got out and my dog attacked. It was quite a mess. So you see why bringing a new dog into the yard was a risky move. Surprisingly, it went alright. There was a lot of sniffing involved. Then the little puppy, in its need to play, started jumping up and biting my dogs face. I thought, oh no, here we go. But something amazing happened. My dog played. My dog played with another dog. I was really happy to see this. So we came back inside and dad went outside to cook.

This is where the story goes the way I thought it would. Dad is cooking and my dog attacks. Duh, an aggressive dog around food and another dog. I say someone should put the puppy away now. Dad say's its fine. This is where I roll my eyes. Not too long after that we hear the yelping again and that was that. Time for the puppy to be somewhere else. On top of the fighting the puppy stole my dog's bone and after I tried to return it to her, she sniffed it and didn't want it anymore. This made me angry. Taking things away from my dog? Pfft. Not allowed. So dad put more effort into keeping the puppy than Veronica and made a little fence to keep it on the side of the house. Now all the dogs had their little sections. Ridiculous.

I saw her feed it one day. She went out there, poured the food and left. Not even a pat on the head! Nothing. I mean, why get a puppy if you aren't even going to play with it? I felt so bad for it. So, I let it out into the yard. Whenever we sat back there we decided to let her come out and play with Ninja. Because, unlike my dad, if my dog starts looking like she is getting serious I will stop her. It worked out good. They were funny to see running around and jumping over each other, knocking over plants. But after a few days she could jump over her little fence. And when I wasn't around I didn't want her back there, for her own safety really. So we tried to put her in with chaos. Well she found a way out of there too.

This was the breaking point. She wouldn't stay where she needed to be and everyone in the house was trying to keep her in one spot except the one person who should have been responsible for it. So Veronica called her friend and they took the pup away. I was at a play, so I didn't even get to say goodbye. I can only hope her friend is nothing like her.

I was stumbling through a bunch of blogs last night via the navbar (which I chose not to include in my blog) and I found a few of them really interesting. There were a ton in other languages, some of which made me wish I knew that particular language. Also, a tad too many twilight blogs. Some were alright looking, some awfully put together and some really well done. It made me wonder. What would someone think about mine? Would they take the time to read it and see if I have anything to offer? Or would they just go back and click the "next blog" button again? Would they be upset that I took my navbar out? I clearly put too much thought into it.

It was nice to know and see that there are plenty of people just telling their own little stories. Whether they have readers or not, they blog about the events in their lives. Mundane or exciting, they blog. I guess this isn't really a new concept, people have done this for quite sometime. It was just good to see the cycle continue on.

Now the next set of questions in my mind. Do I comment on the random blogs I have now chosen to follow? Will they be weirded out that some stranger is reading their life? Too much thought went into this as well. It's the consequence of the internet. I suppose if they wanted to be private they would keep a diary. Besides, I would only have positive things to say anyway. Who would turn away kind words? Not I.

Props to the people who make such gorgeous and awesome templates. It took me a while to piece this one together and it's nothing but simple. I suppose simple will suffice, though. And besides, I rather like it.

I am debating on whether or not to add a shoutbox. They seem to be all the rage, but seeing as how my blog is not, I think it will only leave me disappointed. I set one up, just in case I feel like adding it someday.

It's late again. I didn't leave myself much time to blog.

That has been the question jumbling around in my mind for a while now. What do I have to say, who would want to read it, and do I care? What would make my blog different from any other? Do I want to stand out or would I rather blend in? I think I would rather be just another blogger, another person to spew their mundane life onto the screen for anyone to read. I'll give it a go. And if nothing else, at least it will give Kristen something to read.

Now...to find a good template.